I'm not feeling so well tonight. I thought I perked up a bit earlier this evening when Maxi was going off to his peer support group and my therapist was on her way over. I managed to get a pot of turkey, vegetable, noodle soup started and then just sort of sat here and fell apart.
The chest pain is bad tonight and in a little while I will motivate to put food away and shut down the house and get me to bed. But not just yet.
It is cold and wet and windy tonight; I'm always so glad for our snug (although temporary!) home. It is good to not have to be fearful in one's home during inclement weather. My snugness reminds me to pray for those with so much less as me 'n the kid have so much to be grateful for.
Something peculiar happened to me yesterday afternoon and I've been pondering the mysteries of it ever since.
23 years ago, my life and the lives of many of my close friends were devastated by the dispicable actions of a con man who had taken nearly our entire community "in" -- hook, line and STINKER!
We all lost much and recovery was very slow. For this man had taken not just our money (which was bad enough) but our dreams as well. And that was the hardest part to forgive.
In the backlash of what he'd done, he fled the state. Occasionally we'd get word that he'd set up his scam in a new location but news of him was scant.
A couple of years ago he tracked me down, saying he wanted to "restore an old friendship". I took a pass on the offer although someone in my family quipped that I should have replied "Sure, we can restore an old friendship as long as you start restoring my finances...say a couple a hundred a month?" I just chuckled. After all these years, it didn't really matter any more.
Then yesterday I got word from him again. His entire life had been wiped out this past year. His empire in the sun was gone. His wife and children had left. He'd been homeless and lived in his car. He'd lost the best legitamate deals of his life and his honest career was at an end. His health was waning. Now he's got a one room place all by himself and is working at a menial job...grateful to have even that much.
Life sure is interesting, isn't it?
Merme
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"In the midst of winter, I learned there lives in me an invincible summer" Camus (maybe a paraphrase) Plants: 9229 | From: Maine | Registered: Oct 2004
| Seeded: 66.63.78.107
posted
I'm sorry to hear you are not feeling better yet. I think of you often.
As I sit here in my cozy little home, watching the rain pour down, and enjoying a hot cuppa tang and a pretty fire, I too find my thoughts wandering to those not quite so lucky. I can't imagine worrying about the integrity of my house during foul weather.
As for the man from your past...well, I feel that is a prime example of karma. What you give out will someday come back to you.
I can't believe after using you and your friends, he would feel that he has any right to contact you now. I wonder if his own mind has twisted the past to a more "palatable" version of what happened.
I hope you get some rest tonight. I'm sure it would help how you are feeling, if only a little bit.
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We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are. Plants: 6287 | From: S. Lane Co., Oregon | Registered: Aug 2003
| Seeded: 67.42.183.116
posted
I remember recently you posted something about karma, wondering if any of us believed in it?
Personally, I don't believe in karma per se, as in an Eastern Religious belief, but I do believe in a karmic-like reciprocosity.
You know, that whole concept of "reaping what you sow".
Interesting that you should point that out, considering how I've been thinking of him being homeless for a time this past year after having caused several people in our community to lose their homes. I wonder how many other homeless people he created in the years since? I wonder if he gave any thought at all to all those people who went without so he could have more and more and more while he was sitting alone in his car? Or was it more like what you said -- he's created a palatable version of the past?
So... how are you tonight, my friend? You and your hot Tang. Gee, that sounds yummy all of a sudden.
Merme
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"In the midst of winter, I learned there lives in me an invincible summer" Camus (maybe a paraphrase) Plants: 9229 | From: Maine | Registered: Oct 2004
| Seeded: 66.63.78.107
posted
I'm doing okay...feel kind of run-down, and keep hearing my MIL's comments echo through my head. Someday I will learn how to tune her out.
Hot tang is really good to me...more of a comfort drink than any tea I have found. Then again, that could just be me. I think I only know one other person who dirnks it hot.
Mike has gone in on stand-by, and has now gone out on a yucky call. I hate it when this appens late at night, because I know he's going to need to talk when he gets home, whenever that may be, so I can't really go to bed. If all else fails, I'll just call in sick tomorrow...the office has been really slow, like it always is this time of year. Everything else I need to do can be done from home, anytime tomorrow.
I just got an email back from the realtor selling my grandma's home. Even though he by no means has to, he's paying me a refferal fee. What an awesome guy! You can bet all future business I have in Central Oregon will be reffered to him!
As for Karma, I don't believe in the whole religion behind it, but do beleive in the basic priciple behind it. If pressed, I would say my religion is a blend of several...this and that, and what touches my heart.
Try hot tang sometime...you may be odd like me!
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We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are. Plants: 6287 | From: S. Lane Co., Oregon | Registered: Aug 2003
| Seeded: 67.42.183.116
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Someday I will learn how to tune her out.![[thumb]](graemlins/thumb.gif)
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