posted
New Darwin awards..... > >Glad these genes are out of the pool !!! > > > >THE DARWIN AWARDS > >5th RUNNER-UP >Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift tower >at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a >foam pad. The 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at >Central Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the >Mono County Sheriff's department said. Hubal and his friends >apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some >yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the >Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to protect >skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads to >slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since >been investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one with >its pad removed. > >4th RUNNER-UP >Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, who was apparently being disorderly in a >St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo >grabbed a hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without >paying. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics >removed the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to >death. > >3rd RUNNER-UP >Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing >above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell >on him. > >2nd RUNNER-UP >"Man loses face at party" is what the headline read: A man at a West >Virginia party (probably related to the winner last year, a man in >Arkansas who used the 22 bullet to replace the fuse in his pickup >truck) popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering >an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue. Jerry Stromyer, >24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the party late >Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an >aquarium hooked to battery and was trying to explode it. It wouldn't >go off and Stromyer said:'I'll show you how to set it off.' He put it >into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out and his lips and >tongue off", Payne added. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition >Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson >at Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine anyone >doing something like that," Payne said. > >1st RUNNER-UP >Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot >through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be >released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye >last weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men >Anonymous in Grant's Pass, Oregon. A friend tried to shoot a beer can >off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye. Doctors said >that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel >would have been severed causing instant death. The initiation stunt is >under investigation. > >THIS YEAR'S WINNER: >The late John Pernicky and his friend, the late Sal Hawkins, of the >great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert >at the George Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having >had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" >over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their >pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, >who was 100-pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins to hop the fence and >then assist his friend over. > >Unfortunately for Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other >side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself >crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along >with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling >from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes >below him. > >Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket >knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. >Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp leaves >scratched his entire body and worse, without the protection of his shorts, >a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse still, on >landing, his pocket knife penetrated his thigh. > >Mr. Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw >him a rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup >truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste/state, he >put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence, landing 30\ >feet below atop his friend, killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed >pickup with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead from >massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John under >it half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife >in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25-feet in the air. >
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